The Wedding (ETHAN)

It was done.

They were married.

Even hearing it in my head was fucked to the Nth degree.

I sat there... Thomas next to me at the table babbling something about how cute it is to see little girls dancing with old men... and I could see back to January... that night that we spent... that started it all. The beginning of that whole ruinous road.

And now I was watching, like I was tied to my seat... like I was being force fed my broccoli, because something about seeing this all had to be good for me... the bride across the room with her charming douche of a groom, cute as a pair of baby blue buttons.

Thomas interrupted my sulking.

T: What.
E: What, what.
T: What are you doing?
E:
T: Stop fucking looking at her.
E: I'm not.
T: You are.
E: I'm not looking at her like that.
T: You only ever look at her like...
E: It's her wedding.
T: Ha! I know that. I'm protecting you. I'm being your social condom.
E: I don't need...
T: Stop. Looking. Over. There.
E: What should I look at?
T: Um... Ooh. Katie's here.

Katie. It had been almost a year. Since, I should say, since it all fizzled away. It didn't exactly end. I mean... there was a time when we were together, and then definitely a time when we weren't, but to say that there was a day that the final stand occurred would be... difficult. I remembered nights of me in the bed and her in the living room sleeping on her couch (even from the beginning, we each brought our own futon couches to the apartment, perhaps we saw it coming?) I remembered nights unable to sleep, laying awake, watching dumb old tv shows on the internet, or thinking of writing again, I mean... I was actually going through something... I should be writing about it, I thought... but nothing came.

Fuck.

She saw me. In her thin little tapered off violet dress, she started walking towards us from the entrance to the hall. Not wanting to seem out of sorts, she crossed the dance floor that separated us, dancing to whatever song it was... I don't remember... and keeping her weird eye contact that didn't involve her actually looking at you, but you just felt like she was? Does that make sense? If you knew her, you'd understand.

She didn't even say anything. She walked up to Thomas and gave him a big smooch and I think they talked about me for a minute, because I wasn't looking at either of them just then... I was daydreaming something about being a 10 year old girl. Fuck if I know why.

I got up, felt for the piece in my pocket and the small bag beside it. I walked away, across the dance floor (less dancing, more just cutting through) and accidentally, unforgiving, bumped a cater girl in the shoulder on my way out the door.

That's what I remember before I went out to smoke.

-E.- (Ethan)